Pseudo Stay-at-Home-Mom


It’s the unknown that’s rattling me.

For the last few months I have been a pseudo stay-at-home mom. And I am not sure what I think about it.

The word pseudo perfectly describes it. According to, “Pseudo” means almost, approaching or trying to be. It also means not actually but having the appearance of.

Yup. That’s exactly right. I have the appearance of a stay-at-home mom without actually being one. I’m home by circumstance. My job ended and I am going through the long process of finding another. Really, though, I identify as a working-outside-of-the-home mom. I wear this title comfortably.

I have greatly enjoyed being “pseudo” in many ways…

  1. Before school let out, I got to spend more time at school. I got to eat in the cafeteria at lunchtime, play on the playground at recess, kick some home runs for our kickball team. I volunteered in the classroom, read stories to the class. I helped out at Girl Scout meetings and went to after-school pool parties.
  2. I got a lot of projects done around the house. I organized Chris’s bathroom, organized the closet in another bathroom. I lined shelves, neatened drawers, washed every curtain in the house. I took apart my entire refrigerator and freezers and cleaned it, for God’s sake.
  3. Before he left for California,Chris and I got to spend a lot of time together. And looking back, I am so glad that we did.

In other ways, I am restless. Out of my element. Unsettled. Chris is gone to California, which is a huge adjustment. But it’s the unknown that’s rattling me. When will I get back Where? And how will it be, working and managing things by myself when I am not pseudo anything? Will getting back to work be easy or hard?

Sigh … this is where I am at the end of week 2. Has it really only been 2 weeks? It feels like forever.

What about you? How do you adjust to change and the unknown? Does it freak you out? Do you have any good advice? I’d love your comments!


10 thoughts on “Pseudo Stay-at-Home-Mom

  1. I’ll have to think about the questions, but right now, this minute, I HAVE to say: that picture. THAT PICTURE? Is priceless.

  2. Love the picture attached to this one! And as far as the whole stay at home mom thing goes…I wouldn’t have traded the past two years for anything! I haven’t missed a moment of the twins’ and Mikayla’s lives and I think we’re all better for it. It may seem boring at first but then think back to all those working days that become monotonuse.

      • LOL! Not to worry! You make a good point. I have enjoyed the time at home, I really have. I wish it wasn’t paired with such drastic change, though. With Chris gone, it is better that I am home for a little while, I think. BUT … I am also anxious to get back into the run of the mill routine, you know? And we are nowhere close to that yet. I am just hanging on for the ride for now.

  3. I remember when we moved to Rochester and was a stay at home mom in a new town. Someone told me to have patience and that it would take some time to adjust. And just like our children, sometimes it takes baby steps…one day at a time. You’ll fall into a daily routine and you’ll begin to feel “settled” in before you know it. Enjoy this time- celebrate your courage and ability to keep the home front together! Patience…it will all fall into place! xoxox

    • That is really great advice, Martha! I am learning patience in this process, for sure. Thank you for being a key part of my village :-). Xoxoxo

  4. Susan, I left a good job after my daughter was born to stay at home with her. I noticed that as a stay at home mom I was treated as a non-person by many working moms. I began running an in home daycare to make ends meet, but I wanted to be home with her. I probably had more education etc. than some of the people that treated me as a non- person, but as a stay at home mom I found (pseudo or not) it was something I had to get used to. People would ask me what I did and when I told them they would stop talking to me as if I had the plague. I was amazed and amused, and this was 30 years ago!!! You do just settle into it and go on, as your friend Martha says. I have now been working for about 18 years. I am so glad i spent the time I did home with my kids. There were many years where I did not do daycare. I just concentrated on raising my 2 kids. I like to think that they are better off for the time I spent with them as well as am I. I did however loose in the pension game during those years, but I would not trade them in for the pension. In fact, If I had it to do over again I would not have gone back to work so soon. If you can afford it, stay home, get a job at the school, get a part time job. work form home. Your kids will need you more as they get older (believe it or not). ;-D

    • I loved your comment, Gail. It was very insightful. And I appreciate it! My sister-in-law has said the same thing to me … kids need you more as they get older. I can see what you mean in some ways. The challenges get greater as some demands decrease. So far, I am thankful that I have had flexibility in my positions. I.T. tends to be a good sector that way. I used to work part-time when the kids were very little, which I loved. We will see how things play out. I will definitely
      keep you posted. There is never a dull moment in this adventure.;-)

  5. Pingback: Turn the Page | Bridging the Distance

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