For the last few months I have been a pseudo stay-at-home mom. And I am not sure what I think about it.
The word pseudo perfectly describes it. According to dictionary.com, “Pseudo” means almost, approaching or trying to be. It also means not actually but having the appearance of.
Yup. That’s exactly right. I have the appearance of a stay-at-home mom without actually being one. I’m home by circumstance. My job ended and I am going through the long process of finding another. Really, though, I identify as a working-outside-of-the-home mom. I wear this title comfortably.
I have greatly enjoyed being “pseudo” in many ways…
- Before school let out, I got to spend more time at school. I got to eat in the cafeteria at lunchtime, play on the playground at recess, kick some home runs for our kickball team. I volunteered in the classroom, read stories to the class. I helped out at Girl Scout meetings and went to after-school pool parties.
- I got a lot of projects done around the house. I organized Chris’s bathroom, organized the closet in another bathroom. I lined shelves, neatened drawers, washed every curtain in the house. I took apart my entire refrigerator and freezers and cleaned it, for God’s sake.
- Before he left for California,Chris and I got to spend a lot of time together. And looking back, I am so glad that we did.
In other ways, I am restless. Out of my element. Unsettled. Chris is gone to California, which is a huge adjustment. But it’s the unknown that’s rattling me. When will I get back to.work? Where? And how will it be, working and managing things by myself when I am not pseudo anything? Will getting back to work be easy or hard?
Sigh … this is where I am at the end of week 2. Has it really only been 2 weeks? It feels like forever.
What about you? How do you adjust to change and the unknown? Does it freak you out? Do you have any good advice? I’d love your comments!