When people find out about our extreme coast-to-coast commuting relationship, we typically get one of two reactions:
- Disbelief: “Are you crazy? Why don’t you just move there?“
- Empathy: “I know a couple who did this. The economy sucks. It must be hard.“
After all of this time (13 weeks already!), I got a third one.
I was out to dinner the other night with two close girlfriends (a rarity for me these days). One of my friends ran into someone she knew and introduced me. She mentioned our unusual arrangement and I added (a little defensively) that this was just for work reasons.
“It sounds like you are really HAPPILY married” my friend’s friend said.
I didn’t even know what to say to that. At first, I didn’t even understand what she was getting at there. Then I got it … some people would be glad to have their spouses far away. And that made me a little sad. We are so happy when Chris comes home. We cry when he leaves. We talk every day. We all miss him. When he is not here, it’s like a part of me is missing. Bridging the distance drives us each and every day.
What I have learned so far is that this arrangement works best for people who miss each other the most. Sounds counter-intuitive, right? The couples who miss each other the most are the ones who work the hardest at keeping in touch … swapping stories of their days, texting photos of projects that the kids did (see below), calling for no reason.
I guess that is why I did not relate to the comment. And I couldn’t be happier about it.
How do you react to unexpected comments like that? Anything you’d like to add? I would love to hear from you!