It’s been 4 months now that we’ve been doing this and it’s … wearing thin. I thought that the beginning would be the toughest. I thought that after all of the pieces were finally back in place, it would seem easier. Silly me.
“It’s like you are in a marathon,” my friend said. “And it’s not the beginning and it’s not the end. It’s the middle and it’s the hardest part.”
The middle is a very lonely place.
I am not really alone, though. I have a great village. Thank GOD for my village. The alone part comes from the fact that working full-time, taking care of the kids (and their school and extracurricular activities), the house, the cat and everything else is my responsibility. There are days when I think, “I GOT this” and there are days when I think, “HOW am I going do this?” While I have always greatly admired my mom, I have a whole new respect for her now, now that I have had a taste of temporary do-it-all-single parenthood. How DID she do it for all of those years and do it so well? Her “middle” must have been very long.
“I want to help you in every way that I can, Susan, because I know how awfully hard it all is,” said my mom the other day.
God bless my mom.
My friend’s marathon analogy is an apt one because mostly what I do is run. And run. And run. This is the only way that I can fit it all in and get it all done. And I can’t stop running right now. I am afraid that if I take a water break, a breather, that I might want to stop running. And I just can’t. I am only in the middle of this marathon. I. MUST. KEEP. GOING. And although I can’t see the end yet, I know that it is there. And well after we get there, I hope that we can look back at this time with a chuckle, realizing that we did the best that we could.
Had any personal “marathons”? How’d you get through them? I’d love to hear from you!